Monday, November 06, 2017

Coping with the loss of my niece

Losing a loved one  is one of the most painful event that could happen in a person's life. The pain is so deep. It crushes your spirit the moment you learned about it. Though, I believed that my niece is now resting in the hands of our heavenly Father, I can't deny the fact that I am still hurting. My nieces and nephews are so dear to me. My brother had been texting me, asking for prayers when my niece had a seizure and brought to ICU. When he told  me "she's gone", I could not believed it. I cried like crazy to the point that my husband is so worried about me. I told my brother to check again thinking that the doctor might be mistaken. Or to wait, maybe she'll be revive. I blamed myself for not doing something for her to be brought to the hospital right away. I could not eat, sleep, move and completely weak. I've been messaging my cousins who've lost their mother, sister, brother and husband of how they cope with their love ones passed away. They've tell me the same thing. Cried it loud and you will feel better later. It affected me so much that I missed work for 3 days. My niece passed away 4 days before my birthday. Also, 3 days before her older brother's birthday. I had discussed with my brother that we will have a mini celebration for my nephew's birthday by inviting the homeless children to their house. My nephew's birthday had push through with some children from the neighborhood sharing the meals my sister-in-law had prepared. On the other hand, the pain was too much for me that I had not celebrated my own birthday.  

Below are the things that might help you to cope the loss of the niece.

Praying and Reading the Bible  - Praying  and reading the Bible help me so much to ease the pain. Reading the Word of God, give me an assurance that my niece is with the Lord in heaven. That she is no longer in pain but rejoicing with the angels. That she only gone ahead of  us and I will see her again. Knowingly that her death has a purpose for everyone of us her family.

Talk to the Pastor - Talking to my Pastor after hearing the news makes me feel better. He provided me some pamphlets to read on how to cope with pain and stage of grieving.

Write a Poem - Though the poem I've written is for my niece who had passed but it help myself instead. Writing a poem made me express how I felt about her passing. The things that I've should done with her. Telling her, though she can't see it anymore, how she will be missed and loved. That she will never be forgotten. Below is the poem I made for my niece.

Drawing - Drawing something about and for my niece helped me so much with my grieving. A meaningful drawing that you'd wish that she can see it. A drawing with an assurance that she is in a  better place. Below are my drawings inspired by my  niece.
Talk to you friends and relatives - Talking to my friends and relatives who had gone in the same situation helped me by any means. It made me feel that I am not the only who had experienced the pain. Not only that they are sharing how to cope with grieving but also comforted me to their best.
Acceptance and Letting Go - Knowing that I can see her again, I've been able to accept the truth that she had gone from this temporary place, the world.
Create something for your love one's Memory - It has been 2 years that I am collecting toys for the less fortunate children in the Philippines. Now, I have no plan to stop it but instead will be more into it in Memory of my Niece.

To you who have lost a love one,  it is my prayer that you  may find peace knowing that he/she is in the hands of God and you will see her/him again.

Philippians 1: 21 - For to me to live is Christ and to die is Gain.

I love you Dode. I miss you everyday!!!!


  1. Your pain is definitely huge,Everyone love's their nieces and nephews, And we can't even imagine losing them.I hope no one ever experience that.

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss and I feel exactly the same, I can literally empathize with you as I have done Carpenter supplied work and I got the news that I have lost my nephew in a car accident, it's not easy to cope up with it.